I think we’ve all seen the picture that floats around on Facebook that says “My husband is a promise I’ll have a best friend forever.”
Now that I’ve been married for ten years, I’d like to propose a change to that specific piece of artwork.
My husband is a promise that I’ll always have someone to laughingly point out that my Spanxx is showing after I’ve walked around a crowded movie theater for 15 minutes.
My husband is a promise that I’ll always have someone who will order a snow cone in the flavor of my choosing so I can have it after he remembers he doesn’t even like snow cones (Un-American, I know. I embarrassed to even admit this).
My husband is a promise that I’ll always have someone around who honestly thinks he could take on a moose in the event we are ever charged at. As if.
Really, if I’m talking about my man, I should speak to how hardworking, loyal and loving he is. Anyone who is familiar with him at all knows these things to be true. But instead, I’m going to talk about how far he has come with learning the layout of our own home. It has been a long ten-year journey, but most days he finally knows where we keep the socks, the scissors, our kids’ pajamas and the washing machine. These days I’m less like a tour guide and more like an underpaid employee.
Wow, ten years will change things for you. In the beginning, it’s all kisses and romances. A decade in, it’s early nights and an abnormal amount of time spent talking about your kids’ bodily functions.
Other things change as well. When I first met my husband, he’d never been further East than Denver. The first time he ever flew commercial it was with me holding his hand.
These days, he travels so much for work both of our kids think he works at the airport.
Now when we fly together, it turns into him trying to boss me around. When we arrive at the airport, he proceeds to tell me great little gems, like “You’ll have to take off your shoes for security” and “They’ll want to see your ID.”
The first reaction that goes through my head is usually one of sarcasm and overall unpleasantness. Something to the effect of “Really? You don’t say?” I taught my husband how to fly, peeps.
Since he has Platinum Status with Delta, he doesn't wait in line and boards the plane very first. I always have to wait in line like a normal person but I take extra pride in being the last one on the aircraft. I literally wait in my seat in the terminal until I hear the final boarding call. I can’t stand the thought of breathing recycled air for one more minute than I absolutely have to. Plus, it doesn’t matter how long the layover is, my husbands runs through the airport like a cheetah.
Katie: What the what?
Chase: We need to get to the gate.
Katie: Call me crazy, but I have zero desire to break a sweat in a place where I can’t go outside.
Chase: This conversation is slowing us down.
Katie: For what? The next moon landing?
Chase: Why do you question everything?
Katie: I think I was born that way.
Really, the point of me telling you all of this is that being married is a blessing that doesn’t come easy. It requires sacrifice from both people. Which is why I opt not to bite my husbands off when he annoys me. It’s the reason he gets up and works long hours to support his family. I think I’ll keep him. Plus it took me ten years to teach him how to change the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. Why would I want to waste that kind of training?